Just Not A Good Day.

I really want to get out there and run. I really, really do. And I need to.

But circumstances prevent it.

And I forgot to weigh myself this morning! :(

Okay, Skinny Lady, you can shut up at any time

This is exactly why I blog about weightloss under an assumed name. Because once you start talking about excercise or calories or diets you've got some know-it-all-marathoner telling you how you are doing it all wrong.

So, I take some cheesecake cupcakes to a party tonight and as everyone is ooohhh-ing and aaaahhh-ing and grabbing them with both hands, I mention that they are 180 calories each. That's when the skinny lady from across the room says,

"Oh, you count calories (like it's a bad thing)? I don't count calories I just go out and run 10 miles."

(Yes, dear, we know.)

So I tell her, that I don't like excercise a minute longer than I have to so I keep track of what I eat during the day.

That's when she begins to tell me about how she just loves to run and run and how she training for a 26 mile marathon and her friend from Utah is coming to run with her.

Great, that's just great. For you, dear, not me.

It was against my better judgement to mention the calories of the cupcakes. Once you start talking about watching your weight with people, suddenly everyone is watching your weight with you.

I'm not gonna make that mistake again.

It's official. I've changed my lifestyle!

You always hear that dieting isn't enough, you have to make a lifestyle change. While I was on the tready tonight, I realized that I have been exercising regularly for a year now. I think it's safe to say that I have changed my lifestyle.

Running/hiking + hand weights + lots of sweat, 35 min, 2.2 miles, 445 calories.

I had a few discouraging days with the scale. I decided to stay off of it for a couple days. Maybe by Monday I'll surprise myself.

150, GO AWAY

I am stuck. It's not the end of the world - I've been stuck before.

I know what I have to do. I'm not mad about it, I just know how hard it is to get busy again and do it.

It'll take work, sweat, pain, time, effort... a little hunger... gah.

Cookies are good. I hate that they're so good. And they're so easy - run to Walmart, and there they are, sitting on the shelf, waiting to be eaten. HATE THAT.

Lots of other things that are good for me, are also good-tasting, but they require work. Even if it's just baby carrots and dip or cut-up cantaloupe. HATE THAT TOO.

Even so, I still watch other runners going down the street, and I love that I now think of them as "other runners" instead of just "runners." I used to be jealous of them. I used to feel despair and hopelessness when I saw them. I think those negative feelings helped propel me to where I am now, but they didn't really do the job until I added, "Well, I could just try it," and did.

And that's the same thing I have to do now.

The completely awesome thing is that I've kept off this much weight for this long. I still WANT to. I'm still inspired. I haven't given up. I've succeeded to this point. I know my weight loss will continue, though it would be easy to say "OK, done" and just be good at 150 instead of getting down to where I want to be (125).

I know I can. I know I will.

I'm excited for tomorrow.

Day 6,7,8, and 9

I've had company, so I haven't posted. I'm in my goal to lose 10 lbs before August 1st. No sugar, no late night eating, no white carbs.

For treats I have had the Skinny Cow White Mint Truffle Bars. 100 calories per bar. So good. My new fav.

In the past 4 days I've gone on two hikes. It's windy and threatening rain, so I'll be on the tready tonight.

Feeling pretty good about my biceps and the jiggly underside of my arms. Using handweights on the tready helps. Apple showed me a new move that has helped. Remember that, Apple? I paid attention.

"Check out this gun show. Boom, boom. Fiyah-powah."

Let me make a comment about how my age has brought me to a point that I can finally watch my weight for me and no one else. And that feels great.

Late 20's, early 30's I would do it so I didn't look chubby next to the skinny mini to the left or the right of me. Being in my late 30's, I've come to a point where I am secure enough in who I am and my accomplishments that I don't compare dress sizes with anyone else. This time it's about me...all me.

Day 4 and 5

Down 2 lbs. One more and I'll see a number I haven't seen in a month or more. 8 more to go before August 1st.

I didn't work out last night, because we went to the movies. I showed amazing restraint. My usual treat would be a big drink, big popcorn, big box o candy. I skipped it all.

We went to Taco Bell. My new Taco Bell order is a Crunchy Taco 170 calories and Pintos and Cheese, also 170 calories. For me that is a guiltless lunch. Two items makes me feel like I am getting plenty eat.

Bought some new clothes which is so satisfying. I have more clothes that are too big for me than too little. :) <---- This is me smiling.

Operation Unhinged Jaw

I don't know what happened to me yesterday, but all my dietary concerns flew right out the window and I ate like I was never going to eat again. (Hopefully I never will eat like this again.)

Breakfast: A donut

Lunch: Another donut

Dinner: A Wendy's Bacon & Blue Burger, and a small Frosty. (Hey, it was small.)

At freaking 10:00 PM: A little cup of Haagen-Dazs chocolate peanut butter ice cream with 310 freaking calories. What in the heck was I doing?????

So, what do you figure? About 2100 calories? I don't even want to know so don't tell me.

I did walk/jog yesterday, and came home and did calisthenics, but holy crap. Somebody hold me back!

P.S. My bright spot was talking to Pear for a while. I love you, Pear :)

What's your name again? Pear primed for memory problems

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/07/15/women.memory.weight/index.html?eref=igoogle_cnn

BTW, I'm down a lb. I think, I can't remember.

Day 3

Treadmill running/walking and hand weights, including 3 minutes of walking backwards on the tready: 30 min 2 miles 445 calories

I have never worked out longer the 30, maybe 35 or 45 min here or there. I have only given myself 30 minutes of my day to excercise. I feel like this keeps me from feeling selfish or fanatical. I judge people who have time to fit into their skinny jeans but don't have time to volunteer at their kids school.

Feeling decent about my workout. I don't have the stamina I had 6 months ago. I need to work up to that again, but the body is an amazing machine, even a body as old as mine, I know it won't take me long to get back to where I was.

Blogging with Apple helps. I didn't account to anyone but myself before. Sharing with Apple will keep me motivated.

Had half a Kit Kat about 105 calories. That wasn't all I ate today, just what I feel guilty about.

I'm going to bed without showering. Don't judge me. I babysat 4 kids, including a baby, today. I'm tired.

Day 2

Day 1 of a new weightloss goal is a joke. There is always leftover goodies from the weekend to finish off. As I mentioned before, I had a headache and spent the night on the couch. The kids made brownies and the smell was too much for me to resist. Then I had a bowl of Fruit Loops. See, it's a slippery slide, my friends.

Today, I skipped breakfast, not intentionally because I love breakfast, but I was late for work. Then a co-worker suggested we go out to lunch. I was going to have a Taco Salad, but then I noticed they brought back the Sierra Chicken Sandwich, FOR A LIMITED TIME, so I had to take advantage before it went bye-bye again. Well, I made it a combo, which means it came with tots and who can say "no" to tots?! Not me!

I'm going to drink plenty of water though and hit the treadmill tonight. If I don't sweat, I didn't hit it hard enough. That is another thing, I didn't start losing any significant weight until I started sweating during my workout. My morning walk with my girlfriends 3 times a week wasn't doing squat, I had to sweat it out.

Despite not excercizing and eating brownies and Fruit Loops, I lost 4 ounces. But then I took a bath, got back on the scale (never a good idea), and I gained 1.2 lbs. So the moral of the story is...weigh once in the morning.

UPDATE: Made it to the treadmill. Walking on a incline, running and handweights: 30 min 2 miles 425 calories

Calories: The Big Sux Donut

Calories are a sad fact of weight loss life, but one of my most useful tools.

My weight loss efforts started to work when I stopped feeling bad about myself and what I'd done to my body and how horrible a person I was for doing it and how awful I looked and how long it would take to lose the weight and how hopeless it was and blah, blah, blah...

...and started making myself accountable for what I was putting into my body.

It stopped being about emotions, and started being about math. A - B = C.

Sucks, don't it? But it works.

I know Pear likes to keep track of calories too, so I thought we could start a master list of our favorite snacks - good and bad - and what they take away from our daily calorie budget.

100 Calories
Half a Kit Kat Bar
Skinny Cow Chocolate Truffle Bar ***** 5 stars
140 calorie Skinny Cow Mint Sandwich

200 Calories

300 Calories
Hostess Cupcakes - 360
Apple + 2 Tb of Jiff Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter

Day 1 Short term goal to lose 10 lbs before Aug 1

Well, no sugar or bread today, but I have a raging headache that just might keep me off the treadmill.

This new goal will put me one pound under the weight I was before the holidays. Daily 30-45 minute workouts got me to that weight. I have to be really disciplined if I am going to do this before Aug. I was really motivated until this headache snuck up on me. Now I want to spend the evening on the couch with a pan of brownies.

Wish me luck.

The Big Apple

If I sound harsh in this post, it's because I finally had to get tough on myself. For a long time I was angry at myself for gaining so much weight. Now I don't waste time with anger, I just do what I need to do.

I'm on a quest to lose 45 pounds - I'm almost halfway there.

Since seventh grade, I had been petite and curvy, hourglass-shaped. I had a beautiful body just long enough to catch a husband, then immediately became pregnant. Things went downhill from there.

After enduring morning sickness, when I could finally eat again, I ATE. I packed on fifty pounds with my oldest. Thirty pounds eventually went away after he was born... twenty didn't. New pounds joined the original twenty. And more new pounds...

Through my child-bearing years, I made all kinds of excuses for not doing anything about my weight problem. At one time or another, I honestly thought these excuses were valid reasons for doing NOTHING. See how many sound familiar to you:

1) I was tired
2) I was nursing
3) I had a needy baby who cried every time I put him/her down
4) I had a toddler who needed naps
5) I had a kindergartener and only had a certain amount of time to get things done
6) I can't lose weight now, we're trying to have another baby and I'm just going to get fat again
7) My life is hard and I need treats to feel better
8) I deserve this ice cream, and therefore it has no calories and no consequences
9) Skinny people judge fat people and I don't want to be one of those
10) Skinny people are vain
11) Skinny people are unhappy because they can't eat anything. I'd rather eat what I want and be happy, even if it means I'll be fat
12) Skinny people have sold their souls to the skinny devil and possess secrets about weight maintenance that "normal" (fat) people will never know
13) I don't have a jogging stroller
14) I don't have a gym membership (and it's cold outside)
15) Or the right clothes
16) Or shoes
17) Or enough jogging bras (Oprah said that we busty chicks should wear two)
18) I have too many children to take care of
19) ...and too much housework
20) I'm not THAT fat
21) My husband thinks I'm beautiful no matter how fat I am so it doesn't matter
22) I'm SO fat that it's hopeless and I'll just have to live with it for the rest of my life.

Like Pear, my weight loss story started when I saw a picture of myself. My mother took a picture of me on my birthday. When I saw how overweight I'd become, I thought, this is the year.

I've always been a fat mother, I'd like to try being a skinny one - and I definitely don't want to deal with losing weight by the time I have grandchildren. Who knows what medical problems my fat body may have caused by then? Do I really want to try to start exercising when I'm feeling like crap, from diabetes and heart disease?

I started with some research. I calculated my ideal body weight using the Body Mass Index calculator. I borrowed my neighbor's BodyBugg for a few days, so I could get a good idea of how many calories I burned in an average day. I found a good diet to follow, and I started exercising regularly.

To say that watching my body change and improve has been thrilling would be a vast understatement. I'm starting to feel all kinds of things I didn't feel for a very long time, while I was sitting around feeling sorry for my chubby self: I feel beautiful, feminine, dainty, confident, worthy, smart, strong, amazing. Sexy, even. (Sorry, Pear.)

I'm not done yet. I have more chiseling to do, but I'm excited to do it, because I've finally figured out what works. Through effort, time, and patience, I'm excited to see, after almost twenty years, what my body will look like.

It's about dang time.

The who, where, what, & why of "Run Like a Muthah."

Who?

Hi, I am Pear. My partner in this bowl of fruit salad is Apple. She'll introduce herself real soon. My name is Pear, because that is my body type; smaller on the top than on the bottom.


Where?

Anywhere and everywhere.


What?

This blog is a place for Apple and I to motivate ourselves, be accountable to ourselves, and share our up and downs of weight loss, working-out, and being the fruits that we are. If anyone cares, enjoys, or chimes-in, that's great too.

Why?

I know I speak for Apple too when I say that we are really proud of ourselves. Over the past few months we have done something we never thought we would do...run. And, we've lost weight doing it.

I guess, I was always an active child and teenager. I didn't think about my weight. When I became an adult woman and started taking "The Pill," that is when I started to gain weight. I think the hormones messed me up changed my chemistry forever.

I was able to lose weight after my babies by dieting, but I didn't make exercise a regular part of my life. The weight came back. (Same old sob story.)

A year ago, I was heavier than I had ever been. I didn't realize it, until I saw a picture of myself (same old sob story).

I started dieting and hiking and the weight was slowing coming down. I loved being outdoors and I got my family involved. Then the cooler weather came and I had to move my exercise regimen inside. That's when I began to run on my treadmill.

I was afraid. I was afraid I would hurt myself, twist an ankle or something. I was afraid that the movement and impact would damage my delicate female areas. May sound ridiculous to you, but it was a real fear for me.

Months later, I am happy to say, I have no injures to report and my delicate female parts are just fine. I'm sure you're glad to know.

I never thought that at the age I am now, I would have the stamina or discipline to exercise regularly.

My goal for this blog is to keep myself motivated, share my success and failures with my friend, Apple, and if anyone else finds inspiration, comfort, or laughter, from "Run Like a Muthah," well, that's nice too.