I need a kick start...

I am pretty much unmotivated right now.  Sure, I THINK about how I need to lose weight, and I feel like a fat cow most of the time, but I still do nothing about it.
My sister recently said to me that when I really wanted to make a change, I would make it.  Part of me was offended by that.  On the other hand, part of me agrees with her.  I do really want to be healthier, skinnier, and feel better.  I'm just lazy.  I want it to happen easily and not have to work for it.  But isn't everything worth having worth working for?
So how do I get up off my big butt and get going?
Any ideas for me?

I'd like to think that I am better than this, but I'm not...

Getting sweaty on the tready again, but for all the wrong reasons. I'm not doing it for my health. I am not doing it to create good habits, I'm doing it because I can't let my co-workers get skinnier than me. There I said it!

I consider myself a lady and as a lady, I don't talk about my age or my weight. Not because I am insecure about these topics or embarrassed (so I say) but I think women, in general, fuss too much about these issues and I don't want to be boring, whiney, or self-absorbed.

But (and it's a big butt straight on from the back) when my co-workers text me about each pound loss, I get the feeling, the overwhelming feeling, it's time to REALLy, this time, let the holidays go and get back to the business of being a single digit (Gah! Again with the shallowness).

I don't like to compare weight, it's not good. Women come in all shapes and sizes. One woman's 140 could be completely different from another's 140. Height has a lot to do with it, of course, that and the number of Little Debbies she's hoarding in her pocket book.

This is getting too long. So, there I have it. I'm no better than anyone else. I'm not "above it all." I just don't want to be the fat one in the room. Is that too much to ask?

Why did I let myself go to Rite Aid?!

Not that there is anything wrong with Rite Aid in general.  It's just that I should NOT have gone there the week after Halloween.
I was hoping that most of the good candy would be gone.  In fact, I was looking for something less than good in the form of some kind of gummy candy to use for a family activity.  What I found, was Peanut Butter M&Ms...and Junior Mints... and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.  And they were only 99 cents a bag.  Holy Cow!
I won't even tell you how many I bought.  I'll just tell you that I haven't eaten too many of them...yet.

On a happier note, I am cleared to start exercising now.  All I need is to actually get off my butt and do it.  Any ideas or suggestions for me?

This is not my big butt.

Or at least that is what I told myself when I looked in the mirror. So I got back on the treadmill tonight and sweat. Both of which took a lot of effort on my part. Can I get an applause, please? I hit the wall when Iwas having a teeny tiny emotional crisis. Then, having broken my regular routine, it was very hard to get back into it again, especially when all then fall shows have begun and there is so many great shows to watch, lots of potatoes, tortillas, and ice cream sandwiches to eat, and a couch to keep company.

BUT, tonight I rededicate myself to my fitness goals, my fruits (you know who you are), and this blog. I say this things in the name of Jackie Warner. Amen.

Pear's not-so-triumphant return

So I took a month off...from everything: healthy eating, portion control, excerize...proper hygiene.

But, I'm back. Which is half the battle. I'm pretty disappointed in myself. I have some important events coming up and it would have been nice to be in prime condition. With only 4 days left until one of the events, short of cutting off an arm (which would slow down how quickly I can stuff my face), I'm not going to be down the 5 -10 I gained over my month long sabbatical.

Last night on Twitter I came across this daring, darling duo of twin sisters/fitness pros/writers/comedians. Here's a sample:

"Perky, not saggy: Push-ups or push-up bra?"

Enjoy!

Two steps forward...one step back

I did pretty well yesterday. I had a good, healthy breakfast and a light dinner. The only snack between meals was a frozen yogurt cone. (Normally I'd have regular ice cream.) I drank water and walked lots and lots. I chose Minute Maid Light for lunch instead of Dr. Pepper. But, on the flip side, I did have a burger for lunch, then ate 1/3 bag of Cheetos right before bed. Why do I do that? I work so hard all day and then blow it just minutes before the day is over.

Today I'm starting over again. I had a very healthy breakfast. Let's see if I can be good the entire day. As long as I'm making progress, I'm not going to be too hard on myself. I've done enough of that over the years.

How are the rest of you fruities doing? Do you have any strategies going into the weekend?

Introducing myself...

Hi!  I'm Kumquat.  I chose that fruit because it is unique, and because it has a sweet outside and a tart inside.  That kind of fits my personality.
I have struggled with weight issues for a long time.  I was a big baby, and as long as I can remember my Dad would tell me I was chubby and make comments about my size.  I was a chubby toddler, and I always had a round face, but after about Kindergarten I was a pretty average sized girl.  Sports were my thing in grade school and Junior High, and a bit in high school until I got too scared that I wouldn't make varsity and my senior year I chubbed up some.  Running was my emotional outlet back in the days of my teenage angst (along with loud music and wearing black) and I would often run three or more miles a day.  It was a time to be alone with my thoughts, and just run all my emotions away.  Senior year was also when I stopped running as much, and I never really picked it back up after that.
I was fairly thin when I got married.  Thin for me anyway, but 14 years and several children later I am no longer in any shape but round.  After every pregnancy I had intentions of getting back in shape, I just never got around to it, and so I have gotten a little bit bigger with each child.  My husband has expanded right along with me.  We started out with the same waist size when we got married, and we continue to wear the same size now, ten inches later.  We both want to get in better shape and take back our lives.  It would be really nice to be able to keep up with our kids and actually play with them without getting winded.
I am not aiming so much for a certain number on the scale as much as I am aiming to be in better health and to feel more energy.  I know I need to lose quite a bit of weight (according to the BMI it would be great if I weighed 100 lbs less than I do right now) I'd be happy losing 70, which would still put me in the safe zone for my BMI.  I'm starting out with trying to eat healthier.  More salads and fruit instead of seconds of dinner and such, and hoping to start in walking and such soon.  Right now I have a medical condition that prevents me from being able to do heavy exercise, but I am hoping that restriction will be lifted this fall so I can get serious.
Thanks for letting me be part of this blog!

My name is Pear and I am an emotional eater.

I thought I was over it. I thought I was done with pushing down my feelings with grilled cheese and mustard sandwiches, but, alas, I am not. I had a very stressful 3 weeks, the most stressful I've ever had, ever. I had to cope. I had to deal because I couldn't confront or discuss what was making me stressed out... so I ate. So, my stress went away and now I have to try to regain control of my feelings. Taking deep breaths and telling myself, it's gonna be okay and I don't need that last bowl of cereal at night.

I made it!!!

So blogger finally let me on here! I am happy to be a part of the fruit salad. :)

I'll just do a quick post to introduce myself. I am Watermelon. You can call me Melon or Mel for short. The reason that I chose Watermelon is that I'm large all over. In the past, I've always considered myself a pear, but for the past few years, my upper half has become way too big as well.

I don't have any excuses to weigh as much as I do. I have all the knowledge I need about nutrition, exercise and weight loss. I have exercise equipment. I have time to myself. I just don't have any desire to do it.

But I saw a picture of myself the other day. You know, when you look at a picture and can't believe it's really you. That's what happened to me and I want to change.

I have been a huge couch potato for the past 2 years so I have started slowly. The hubs and I go walking a few nights a week. It's not much, but maybe if I do it long enough, I can get back on the treadmill eventually. Some ladies in my neighborhood have invited me to go swimming with them. They go a few nights a week and workout while gabbing. I've gone once and it was fun so hopefully this will be a good way to start exercising without really letting my body think I'm working out. I'll have to trick it! =)

My big vice lately is stress eating. Whenever things get out of control or too busy, I cram my face with food to deal. Sometimes I even eat more than my hubs and he eats a lot! Life is so busy that I need to learn alternative coping techniques. There is something so soothing to me about food and I have been obsessed with it for most of my life.

Anyway, I have 30 pounds I'd like to lose. I'm not going to go really strict because I know I won't stick with it, but I'm going to start trying again and we'll see where I end up.

Thanks again, for inviting me, ladies!

Of Treadmills, Trails and Tracks

When I had a gym membership, how I loved that treadmill. It kept all my information safe for me until I had time to jot it down in my PDA - miles walked/run, average speed, calories burned.

Then we stopped going to the gym, and I was on my own.

Since then I have learned to make do with a straight hour on whatever surface I have available, and it's a bit harder. But there are advantages to "roughing it" I hadn't considered before.

The breakdown:

Treadmill
PROS: Hello, escaping the weather. Where I live, we have rain for at least six months out of the year. I've never run in a solid rain - have you?

Also, the temperature-controlled environment, the TVs, music, cute little spot to put your cell phone (for Facebook checking purposes) and water bottle, other women to compare yourself with, and men to check out. Not that I ever do that.

Safety.

A conveyor belt to make me walk, and walk faster, and eventually run.

And all my workout information right there at my fingertips. I miss that now.

CONS:
You never go anywhere or see anything different.

Driving and wasting gas to get to the gym (every time I did, I felt incredibly stupid).

Time. My gym was about 10-15 minutes away.

Cost (ultimately the deciding factor).

Trails (and roads, I had to be alliterative)
PROS: Free is the best price.

I love the independence of walking right outside my front door and getting started. Just take off walking, baby!

You're outside! The fresh air, the flowers, the changing weather!

Something different to see everywhere you go.

Window-shopping opportunities.

Feeling at one with your community. Waving or nodding to fellow joggers and cyclists.

CONS: You're outside! The car exhaust fumes. The allergies. The weather.

Lack of safety, whether from errant cars, bumps in the road, or menacing figures in dark alleys.

A hard surface, which does not move or propel me forward. That bugs.

Tracks
PROS: No cost, again - free is the best price.

A surface made just for walking and running.

Relative safety. I was first on the track this morning, but within minutes was joined by other exercisers and a practicing high school football team.

Other people to watch, and keep me motivated. "That guy is probably sixty years old - look at him run. I can't let him outdo me, I'm twenty years younger!"

A way to check mileage and distance, at least. I also took along my stopwatch and kept track of how long I can still jog. (It ain't pretty.)

A nice setting.

CONS: Still had to drive to it, but it's actually on my way home from dropping off my husband at work. I would have had to drive home anyway.

The weather, again. But the nice thing about this morning's weather (clouds and a light mist) was that it kept me cool. The gym would get hot sometimes, even with the air conditioner and fans.

Boredom - nothing new to see, just lines and numbers - although it was fun to watch the little football players.

How about you ladies? What's your opinion on these?

Well, it's Aug 1st

Did I reach my goal? (Drum roll) No.

I'm not mad at myself. My clothes are fitting well. That's a good thing. I've only lost like two pounds. I gained and lost the same 3 over and over. If I would have lost the 10 that I intended I don't think anything I have now would fit and I can't afford to buy new clothes right now, so I guess I did myself a favor.

I'm having company come. Company means lots of food. I'm gonna try not to go overboard.

Just Not A Good Day.

I really want to get out there and run. I really, really do. And I need to.

But circumstances prevent it.

And I forgot to weigh myself this morning! :(

Okay, Skinny Lady, you can shut up at any time

This is exactly why I blog about weightloss under an assumed name. Because once you start talking about excercise or calories or diets you've got some know-it-all-marathoner telling you how you are doing it all wrong.

So, I take some cheesecake cupcakes to a party tonight and as everyone is ooohhh-ing and aaaahhh-ing and grabbing them with both hands, I mention that they are 180 calories each. That's when the skinny lady from across the room says,

"Oh, you count calories (like it's a bad thing)? I don't count calories I just go out and run 10 miles."

(Yes, dear, we know.)

So I tell her, that I don't like excercise a minute longer than I have to so I keep track of what I eat during the day.

That's when she begins to tell me about how she just loves to run and run and how she training for a 26 mile marathon and her friend from Utah is coming to run with her.

Great, that's just great. For you, dear, not me.

It was against my better judgement to mention the calories of the cupcakes. Once you start talking about watching your weight with people, suddenly everyone is watching your weight with you.

I'm not gonna make that mistake again.

It's official. I've changed my lifestyle!

You always hear that dieting isn't enough, you have to make a lifestyle change. While I was on the tready tonight, I realized that I have been exercising regularly for a year now. I think it's safe to say that I have changed my lifestyle.

Running/hiking + hand weights + lots of sweat, 35 min, 2.2 miles, 445 calories.

I had a few discouraging days with the scale. I decided to stay off of it for a couple days. Maybe by Monday I'll surprise myself.

150, GO AWAY

I am stuck. It's not the end of the world - I've been stuck before.

I know what I have to do. I'm not mad about it, I just know how hard it is to get busy again and do it.

It'll take work, sweat, pain, time, effort... a little hunger... gah.

Cookies are good. I hate that they're so good. And they're so easy - run to Walmart, and there they are, sitting on the shelf, waiting to be eaten. HATE THAT.

Lots of other things that are good for me, are also good-tasting, but they require work. Even if it's just baby carrots and dip or cut-up cantaloupe. HATE THAT TOO.

Even so, I still watch other runners going down the street, and I love that I now think of them as "other runners" instead of just "runners." I used to be jealous of them. I used to feel despair and hopelessness when I saw them. I think those negative feelings helped propel me to where I am now, but they didn't really do the job until I added, "Well, I could just try it," and did.

And that's the same thing I have to do now.

The completely awesome thing is that I've kept off this much weight for this long. I still WANT to. I'm still inspired. I haven't given up. I've succeeded to this point. I know my weight loss will continue, though it would be easy to say "OK, done" and just be good at 150 instead of getting down to where I want to be (125).

I know I can. I know I will.

I'm excited for tomorrow.

Day 6,7,8, and 9

I've had company, so I haven't posted. I'm in my goal to lose 10 lbs before August 1st. No sugar, no late night eating, no white carbs.

For treats I have had the Skinny Cow White Mint Truffle Bars. 100 calories per bar. So good. My new fav.

In the past 4 days I've gone on two hikes. It's windy and threatening rain, so I'll be on the tready tonight.

Feeling pretty good about my biceps and the jiggly underside of my arms. Using handweights on the tready helps. Apple showed me a new move that has helped. Remember that, Apple? I paid attention.

"Check out this gun show. Boom, boom. Fiyah-powah."

Let me make a comment about how my age has brought me to a point that I can finally watch my weight for me and no one else. And that feels great.

Late 20's, early 30's I would do it so I didn't look chubby next to the skinny mini to the left or the right of me. Being in my late 30's, I've come to a point where I am secure enough in who I am and my accomplishments that I don't compare dress sizes with anyone else. This time it's about me...all me.

Day 4 and 5

Down 2 lbs. One more and I'll see a number I haven't seen in a month or more. 8 more to go before August 1st.

I didn't work out last night, because we went to the movies. I showed amazing restraint. My usual treat would be a big drink, big popcorn, big box o candy. I skipped it all.

We went to Taco Bell. My new Taco Bell order is a Crunchy Taco 170 calories and Pintos and Cheese, also 170 calories. For me that is a guiltless lunch. Two items makes me feel like I am getting plenty eat.

Bought some new clothes which is so satisfying. I have more clothes that are too big for me than too little. :) <---- This is me smiling.

Operation Unhinged Jaw

I don't know what happened to me yesterday, but all my dietary concerns flew right out the window and I ate like I was never going to eat again. (Hopefully I never will eat like this again.)

Breakfast: A donut

Lunch: Another donut

Dinner: A Wendy's Bacon & Blue Burger, and a small Frosty. (Hey, it was small.)

At freaking 10:00 PM: A little cup of Haagen-Dazs chocolate peanut butter ice cream with 310 freaking calories. What in the heck was I doing?????

So, what do you figure? About 2100 calories? I don't even want to know so don't tell me.

I did walk/jog yesterday, and came home and did calisthenics, but holy crap. Somebody hold me back!

P.S. My bright spot was talking to Pear for a while. I love you, Pear :)

What's your name again? Pear primed for memory problems

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/07/15/women.memory.weight/index.html?eref=igoogle_cnn

BTW, I'm down a lb. I think, I can't remember.

Day 3

Treadmill running/walking and hand weights, including 3 minutes of walking backwards on the tready: 30 min 2 miles 445 calories

I have never worked out longer the 30, maybe 35 or 45 min here or there. I have only given myself 30 minutes of my day to excercise. I feel like this keeps me from feeling selfish or fanatical. I judge people who have time to fit into their skinny jeans but don't have time to volunteer at their kids school.

Feeling decent about my workout. I don't have the stamina I had 6 months ago. I need to work up to that again, but the body is an amazing machine, even a body as old as mine, I know it won't take me long to get back to where I was.

Blogging with Apple helps. I didn't account to anyone but myself before. Sharing with Apple will keep me motivated.

Had half a Kit Kat about 105 calories. That wasn't all I ate today, just what I feel guilty about.

I'm going to bed without showering. Don't judge me. I babysat 4 kids, including a baby, today. I'm tired.